THE BOX-EGGS

As Aa've sed, Aa wed en'
Mary en' me moved ti Murton;
Aa settled ti wark i'th'offices -
Aa wizna owerstrang, why Aa warked at bank.

But the pit-foak they sez ti me
What we need's a Post Office, Tim.
Ti hendle wor parcels
en everyone's penny post.

Seea they friamed us a house,
Wi' a shop en' a woffice
A counter fer stamps
En' a other fer kets.

Aa collectid the mail
Off the train en' sorted it,
Some Aa cudint reet read th'addresses
Seea Aa gollered the nyem oot i'the street, til it got claimed.

En' we selled paper en' envelopes,
Bait en' groceries
A feck o' kets, bullits,
Claggum en' such.
En', forbye, EGGS...

Naw Aa wanti tell yer a tale o' them eggs
Thet woz set oot i' trays i' straa as 'box eggs'.

Naw a pitman we kent woz reet daft on hens
He raised them hissell' frev egg upti hen.

In his incubator he kept the eggs waam
While they hatched en' the brids wor thrang i' the waam.

This time he was short o' some eggs ti put in
Seea he tiuk chance wi' oor box-eggs en' put them in.

They woz fertile as owt, en' turned oot a treat,
Thor wor nae birds finer i' the street.

Unusual, mind, en' pawkey them wor
Wi gowden bands, crests, ruffs en' spurs.

When they scratch'd i' the road wiv ither plain hens
Fowk cam jist' ti see thir wild forin-leukin hens.

But yan day 'General Buller' cam by in his cart -
For he selled ice-cream wi' a pony en' cart.

Just then sum gadjee woz cleanin' his gun wi' nae care
En' by accident let flee a shot i'the air.

It frit the pony, thet ran mad away
En' charged thru the hens that wor thor in its way.

Them hens rose up, yan en' all, i' the air
En' flutter'd aroon' in an awful scare.

The forin hens tee, flew up wi' a cry
En' fer the forst time i' thor lives got a taste o' the sky.

They nivor wor seen agien, Aa heerd say.
They mebbe tiuk off fer thor hiem far away.

(A meety fremd land Aa'm thinkin' that'd be
Aal clood en' majic en' mystery...)

Onyways, we moved inti a grander house,
Mary en' me, en' forgot the access

En' hed ti buy a parcel o' extra land
For that the Ranters wudnat let me cross theirs. Why, man!

ON